I am currently feeling nothing, I am currently feeling everything....
where is the line between sanity and insanity again? I can't really remember... everything's such a blur these past few days... I think I am getting a little too emotional for my own good... but then again, does the word "moderation" ever even applies to me at all?
I know not what this feeling is, or isn't... but I do know that it's ripping me apart, piece by piece... to reduce me to nothing at a speed that i fear i can't catch up with.
I need someone to talk to, to spill my heart to, now!
Presenting, the selfish me again.... it's always me, me, me and me.....
And there is none... no one to hear me out, no one for me to whine and complain to even if it's just for a moment. Not that I want people's attention or anything like that... sometimes, even though you know very well, that there is nothing other people can do, nothing at all to make it hurt less, to ake you feel better... it is then that whinings, rants, complains, whatever you wish to call them come to good use...
I mean, at least it relieves the bottled up emotions.... at least it's better than to get involve once again in acts of self destruction... at least to me it is....
Will be flying back to Australia tommorow... sigh, I don't know why....
Wasn't I the one who wanted so badly to go back to Melbourne and be away from all the daily squables between mom and I?
Wasn't I the one who felt that there is nothing really, other than my family, that is worthy enough a reason to hold me back?
Wasn't I the one who have been trying desperately to find support the moment i reached KL, hoping that I had been wiser and stayed back in Melbourne?
Yes, I was the one dying to return... to home...
Thing is, I mixed up my definition of a home....
I don't know... perhaps, it's jsut a phase.. soon to be gone...
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