Tuesday, January 09, 2007

help me...

I'm starting to feel disconnected form reality again.... my head is spinning and it's becoming more and more blurry... life that is... I don't know what i want.. jsut that i am feeling so far away... as if I am floating somewhere, viewing life from a third person's perspective... it's uncomfortable.. this feeling...

I need to feel... I need to touch and feel my own existance... to know that I am alive... I need to know that I am breathing and well.... I need to bleed and feel the pain that is all so comforting... I need an outlet for this unfeeling numbness that is all too overwhelming....

I'm not asking too much am i? I am only asking to be well and okay... I am only asking to be functional... to be free from overwhelming emotions that are driving me insane.... to be free from a life of numbness that is never ending....

this life, my life, a life that I've know so well overtime... yet is a life that I know nothing of... it's mine yet not mine to own for i have no control of what i feel... what then is the meaning of living when i can't feel? yet, at the same time, what is the meaning of living when i live each day hoping it's the last?

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