is it really the fear? is this the meaning of loosing confidance or is this what normal people usually feel... what they would call "uncertainity"? perhaps I am jsut thinking too much... perhaps all these are but emotions that can be simply passed off as normal everyday feelings...
but then again... somehow, in a way somewhat terrifying, I sense not its familiarity....
I feel alien feeling like me... this current me... I have no knowledge of....
it's a sudden fear of "what if"s for my future... well, for this year at least... it's my finals this year and I really need to get the grades that will be my key to opening more doors leading down this path in psychology that i've so stubournly chosen as my set career... and the more I think of it, the lest confident I feel... the less confidence I found within myself, the more I am questioning my own capabilities, and now, my sanity....
what if all these worrying are nothing but part of my anxiety?
or worse...
what if the initial high self esteem and confidence was nothing but a mere exhibition of how cunningly deceiving my supposed "hypomania" can be?
my blessing and my curse....
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