not a shrink, not a counsellor... not a doctor... but a friend... I just need a friend right NOW.....
can't say it was a bad seesion, can't say it was good either... it just left me broken.... with this gashing wound unnoticed perhaps by anyone but me... am feeling broken... so deep is the injury that I sensed a sudden form of acute paralysis swamped through me.... they say that when the pain is too intense, you'll go numb....
old wounds have been reopened....
it hurts.... fighting hard to hold back tears.... all the buried emotions tryin to flee from my firm grip of self denial.... I am but a girl.... indeed.... I am but a girl....
I liked him... for being who he is.... yet at that very moment... how much I hated him for making me recall and remember... not sure if it was intensional or not... it was just like any other session that we had before... jsut that suddenly I felt attacked.... wish I could hide away.... I don't wanna be that crying child again.... yet I don't wanna be that stong person that is tryin to be there for anyone but herself... I don't know what I want....
running around in circles...
do I wanna be discovered?
do I wanna remain hiddened?
conflict of the mind and soul....
so very subtle are the actions of emotions...
that they creeped into you before you even know what anger is.....
they are the creator of pain...
the ultimate force of suffering....
why me? why is it I that have to endure...?
a little child crying ot loud...
a little child unable to comprehend...
yet, she was not spared of these nightmarish events that her young mind fought hard to understand...
a little girl cryin in the rain...
please rain, please wash away her pain....
I feel like I am babbling about nonsensical things... but then, what makes up common sense if not us human? I don't wanna be a stereotype....
I wanna be a different girl....
not that teary eyed little girl...
but a young lady with the courage to hope and dream.....
a young lady who wants to spread her wings and soar.....
not like a timid little mouse in hiding.... not she...
confused....
help me....
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