It's everyone's business...

So says the title. Yes, suicide is not something that concerns just one person, it is an issue that concerns everyone of us be it direct aqquaintance of that particular person or not. Direct friends, parents and family hurt the most, wondering what they have or have not done; counsellors wonder where has the therapy gone wrong, wonder what was the missing piece that they've all missed; people that the person live with, perhaps, not even knowing that person, are left wondering how true are the rumours, wondering did it really happen, wanting to know why he did it, how he did it...though it's best put as "none of their bloody buisiness". Some, embark on this "nostalgic" journey of "re-thinking" life, some simply couldn't really be bothered, some are jsut plain ignorant, and some, some do start bawling and crying all over saying how nice a person was, relishing in memories of them which they might personally never had...

why start caring only when after a person is dead and gone?

An exchange student who has been here less than two months died by suicide yesterday morning, in his room, which was like two minutes walk away from the place that I am staying.

Yes, he was depressed, had language problems, couldn't balance the workload with spending time with his friends, was embarassed about needing to return home halfway through his education abroad. But did he really need to die? Was his problems severe enough to warrant death on his part?

Perhaps, no, yet perhaps yes... he must have hurt a lot to do what he did. Desperate to wipe off pain from his life, using all means possible, to the extend of dying by suicide. It takes hell lot of courage and determination : two of the greatest tools for success he possessed, though wrongly utilised, the end result is still that he succeeded.

I don't know him personally, but sad to say, I happen to fall into one of the categories too... I started to think. Try as I may, to push away thoughts of "what if(s)", "should have(s)", in reality, I guess no bady really can... and I can't. Sadly enough, the first thing that came to mind when I first heard of the news was, "it could have been me"

I know it sounds melancholic and depressing and self centred. but yet, I know and know too well, that reality is such that there have been enough close calls for me to know that it really could have happened to me, few weeks ago, few months ago, and even those times years ago when I started not thinking straight.... when I started to loose my mind time and again....

What's passed is past... need to start moving on...
Suicide is scary by itself, it involves a lot of people both during and after.
Since no man's an island,
It's not something which is an individual's problem... never was, never will be either....

Though I do not know you, but what I know is that:

It must have hurt a lot...

It must have been really dreadfully lonely and confusing....

may you now rest in peace....