yes, perhaps I am...
to be how I am now, not functioning as I should, perhaps I really am sicker than I thought I am. I hate this me that is not responding to my meds, that is finding destructive ways to cope with life... I hate this me who can't even smile and mean it... it's all so fake... it's all puting up a show and nothing else...
he said that I am sick, so I can't help it... i am sick and therefore I am feelign the way that i am... he's acknowledging it... I hate this.... I hate people who are in denial but part of me wants to remain in denial that everything's fine, that everything's alright when it's obviously not...
it hurts.. so much... but there isn't anything that I can do about it... nothing other than keep hoping that it'll not last long...
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