it's funny, it's been at least one and half years since i first landed in Melbourne and only now that I am missing home? this is ridiculous! yea, but it's true.... right now, I want to be at home, of all the places in the world, i want to be at home in my bed, with my mom and around me, to fight with my brother over the smallest of issues and show him how brainless he is (hugs, you're not really brainless bro, it's just an expression), and talk to my grandmother.....
I am missing home terribly...
I amfeeling lost and alien here in this big place all by myself... perhaps it's me who is simply jsut feeling a little insecure and is not quite accepting the fact that I have lived on my own, away from my family for so long.... reality kicking in...
I won't be home for chinese new year next year too....
funny, other than the food and the pocket money, have never really been a big fan of festives, but this time, I feel a sudden sadness, slowly crawling over me....
perhaps it cos this time around I would be away from home on a two year stretch, or even perhaps it's cos my 21st birthday will be on the first day of chinese new year and i will be spending it alone... not that many people will remember anyway... two big things happening on the same day and I will be all alone....
maybe I am jsut dramatising everything, I am just simply being melodramatic... but somehow, life is moving on so fast that I don't seem to be really catching up with it...
I feel left behind....
I feel lonely.... afraid.... I wanna crawl into a corner and cry.....
I am being pathetic.... but this is me....
raw and bear for all to see, to scrutinize....
vulnerable...
rambling on....
No comments:
Post a Comment