why must she come? why must she show up in front of me? why of all places, of all times? why now? when i am at my lowest?
it's not fair that she must come now... am i not tormented enough? that i need to let her see me like this? insomniac, with her mind wandering off to far off places?
I hate this, I hate her... as i am sitting here typing this, she is talking freely to "her friends" about tomorrow's plans.... hate how she's looking so normal... perhaps it's just my jealousy... perhaps it's just my neurotism....
but how i hate this... how i truly despise this moment where my heart aches.... bleeding silently.... leaving me all drenched in blood, bleeding to death for eternity....
the pain... this pain....
strong hold on me...
help me, someone, anyone...
i need an outlet.. I need to be set free....
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