why do I always variate between two extremes? it's either I get so stressed up that I cease to function or I don't get stressed up at all even though by right I should be.... for goodness' sake, it's exam period.. it's only natural to get all stressed up and go into "study" mode.... yet, here i am... lazing around not giving a care about the whole wide world.... doing nothing but breathing and existing....
I hate this attitude of not caring...
yet I hate myself too when I cared too much!
is there really such a thing called balance? stability?
I feel all over the place right now... though I am sitting in the basement of Hargrave, writing.... nonsensical ramblings of this unquiet mind of mine... screaming out help, yet at the same time convinced that everything is just fine... yes, simply just fine...
i don't feel anything... yet i feel everything...
all these while, it has always been revolving around this issue of feeling and unfeeling for me.... isn't it about time to stop? isn't it about time to stop giving me problems? and start giving me peace of mind for once?
i am angry, exhausted, disappointed...
i am begining to sink again.... starting to slowly.... come down....
why?
why the moodswings?
why don't i understand?
what is wrong with me???
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