Who am I?

makes me wonder, am i really the peron that people perceive me to be? am i really nice when they say i am? i guess, no matter how many different views of me that people see in me, ultimately it's my own view that counts eh? then again, it is nice to know that people see something nice in me... yes, it's sad that i don't see anything in myself, but it's comforting to know that i am not a nobody in the eyes of others... ... perhaps, it's just me putting myself down too much... simply too much....

decided to deffer my tomorrow's paper... it's jsut impossible for me now... i have to accept that... accept the fact that there are things that i just can't do no matter how much i try.... and i am glad that i have met so many wonderful people.... people who have taught me that it's okay to rely on others... people who have taught me that it's okay to step back and take a breather before moving on my journey again.... people who have made me realised that it's only human to feel weak and helpless at times... that's what people exist for... to stand by each other, to support one another....

yes, i need to start acknowledging the fact that i have fallen again.... and recognize the fact that it's not the end of the world... it's just a stream that i have to pass... and that i don't always have to swin across it alone... that i don't have to fight the currents alone... that there are those who care.... who care enough to join me, to build a bridge together, hand in hand, for me to cross...
for that, i am thankful....

haven't been thinking straight... but then again, what is new any more? it's just so typical of me to shut off when i reach my limits that i am getting used to what i fear most.... being numb to being numb..... at times like this, how i wish to feel.... to feel the confusing emotions that are in me....

so numb.. and i question... who am i anyway? a feeling-less being or a person numb to emotions due to feeling too much?