Tuesday, November 01, 2005

note : I am not depressed...

Everything seems weird nowadays... the future seems bleak too..... I don't know why am i feeling this way, am not sure about a lot of things nowadays anyways.... everything feels like a blur.... everything... I am so unsure and insecure....

I know not of what I am babbling about.... I know not of even my own thoughts and emotions.... all I do know is that I am still living..... yes, alive I still am.... but then, is it just a transaction of air in my lungs, rythemic beatings of my heart that signifies my living? can I truly be considered as a living organism, a person with half of me lost somewhere in the wilderness, dying gradually due to depliting in emotions?

what justifies living anyway?

I haven't been sleeping again...
yes I know it's not doing me good...
yes I know it'll make me age faster.....
but do you know.... of the pain of insomnia.... ?
has it ever dawn upon you how it feels like to be plague with this illness with no face, this pain with no accurate word to describe it?

I don't know what am I saying anymore...
I don't know what are my thoughts either....
what i know is :
I don't know anything anymore...

and again, note : I am not depressed....
just being me perhaps.....

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