I cried....
Jon came over.... I am but a child.... wanting and needing to be cuddled and loved... and yet the one person who wouldn't and couldn't love me is me myself.... yes... me...
feeling down... so down that everything seems so bleak... that as if I am spinning out of control once again.... perhaps I really am.... who am I anyway? a girl with problems or the problematic girl?
am finding myself caught in this sudden whirlpool of anger... this fiery rage that is trying to consume me... perhaps, it might as well have succeeded half way based on the fact that I am now loosing my mind or at least starting to.... I hate HER.... yes, read my lips.. I hate her, dispise her.... I am suffering cause of the letter..... that letter she wrote that threw me off the edge....
I need to blame someone else...
I don't think I can go on taking everything inwards.... I need an outlet...
I must stop taking the blame for everything that has gone wrong in my life....
I am but a girl....
Jon thought that I was suicidal... can't blame him.... it must have freaked him out... well, it did freak me out though.... fact is... I am just feeling terrible... not suicidal....
depression, screw you... not gonna loose to you...
I just wanna be normal... but then, again who is normal? what is normal?
time flies and sometimes I feel like I am missing out... that I can't catch up with it.. it is tryin to leave me behind.... is it not?
trapped.....
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