perhaps, I am not much difference from my lil' brother after all.... we're both numb towards our surroundings for more time then not... either way, we don't express, we supress....
I stop feeling when I stop hating dad... I wonder if it's the same for him...
perhaps, hatred might not be as bad an emotions that I was taught it was....
perhaps, it's jsut painful... it's just exhausting...
but it's life... to be able to love as well as hate...
to be able to praise as well as to display anger...
I should start feeling again....
I need to tell myself that it's safe to feel...
I need to start getting used to the fact that feelings and emotions is the essence of life....
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