nothing....

was visiting Yvonne Foong's blog moments ago....

it was a real awakening experience.... not so much on awareness regarding NF... but rather.... her blog made me realised how someone with much inner strength and determination can make such a difference..... Seriously, it is really useless for me to just talk and talk and talk big in issues about wanting to create more awareness in regards to mental illness in Malaysia... it's really useless for me to only know how to say that I wanna change this or that... to wanna make a difference when all that I do is sit around and do nothing.... knowing only to say those phrases : "when I grow up....", "when I become a...."

well, is she that much older than I？I doubt it.... is she someone of much credibility? a medical profeesional for instance? nope.... she is but a patient with an incurable disease who has so much courage, strenght and determination in not giving up and in wanting to make a difference for her fellow sufferers..... she is but a young lady who is being the voice for those many people with NF....

she shines.....

perhaps that's what making a difference looks like... shinning even in the darkess nights....
being able to pull yourself through all the self pitying and depression even though it feels really "not worth a price to pay" in wanting to live... a battle of two worlds.... one in which our sanity lives and the other.... the world in which your emotions reside....

I may noot know the physical pain in having a dissability... in having a incurable dissease.... but I do understand how lonely and scary it can get in days when you jsut don't feel too right.... knowing no matter what you do, you still lack something.... you're still very much unlike all your other friends.....

but then again.... I do wonder... the me without any of these "problems" ..... would I like Me more than now? would I be a different person? would that new ME be any better than this Me that I know so well?

can never be sure.... can I?

Spoke to Val on the phone just now....
She's on Meds.... yet, if a person don't know her...who would have guessed that there is something wrong with her? who would'vee guessed? a lively and bubly person being depressed? it jsut don't make sense.....

maybe... this is God's way in creating a perfect world.... by filling it with imperfection so that we can fill in each other's gaps..... be there for each other.....