perhaps, you no longer visit this site, perhaps, all that is left of me in your memory is but a subtle image of a girl so ordinary not worth your noticing... an image of a girl slowly fading away... ... perhaps, deep down you would have prefered for this girl to never had existed to begin with... that girl is hurting now.... hurting cause she has hurt you, hurting cause she understands not why thing would end up this way, hurting to see you lost, numb and hurt and being unable to put her arm around you to bring about comfort..... all these... all these are just wishes that this girl silently prayed... her voice of her feelings buried deep underneath her facade built to create assurance in those that surround her....
yes, she is hurting...
yes, she is sorry.....
yes, she don't understand....
and yes, her promise of staying away she'll keep....
help... she silently screams.... but no one to hear her cry during nights of howling winds..... ungrateful she seems to you perhaps... of all the things that had been going well... her dreams and aspiration at her fingertips.... yet she is just as depressed as always.... as always....
but then what lies beneath is what you don't see.... problems that she can't control dominates her feelings.... countless nights she lay thinking... of ways in order that will warrant her the assurance that she'll still be in uni for the next semester.... funds are problems that she asked for not.... problems that bugs her to her core.... then again, there are medical bills and all... so often she feels, nothing but a medication cocktail.... anti...anti...anti.... drugs that tries to block this or that.... drugs tht aims to make her functionable again... even if just for one single day.... along with the drugs went her severe suicidal ideations... but welcome to her sweet abode tremors, nausea, and a whole lot of other side effects from the medications....
yes she's not depressed... but she's not happy......
yes she's not suicidal.... but she's now a zombie....
she understands not... what made you leave.....
she tried to analyse.... she did a whole lot of thinking.....
but all and all... she misses thee.... not that she's gonna come bugging you.... she's just wishperin her simple wish to th wind... her wish to see you smile... the wish to chase away pain.....
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