since I can't fight this down depressive feeling with anything... I shall not try to anymore... perhaps what I really needed is a chance to feel thoughroughly miserable and hopeless... to sink that deep.... only then I will get up again.... perhaps...
when life's that crap, everything's worth a try isn't it?
I shall then declare for myself tomorrow as "Feel Miserable" Day....
I will be allowed to:
- feel as miserable, as depressed as I want to
- feel as though the world is going to fall on me and let it be
- feel worthless and succumb to self pity
- experience my own "death" in imagination
- not fight the feelings
- feel hurt and cry as if I've never cried before
- not think about ways to make myself feel better
- whine and cry over my insane existance
- forget about everything that needs to be done
- important or not, nothing matters, screw everything
- let myself curl up into feotal position and wished that I hadn't been born
- be anti-social and practically a b**** to people
- be mute
- take down my "smiley face" and "okay face" facade
- be a walking, talking time bomb to people
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just 24 hours.....
just that..... no more, no less....
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