Picking up the pieces...
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
in denial...
when mom called and said that grandma is unconscious, I didn't want to know...
when she called again to said that she's had a stroke... I didn't wish to hear....
but when she called to tell me that grandma couldn't recognize anyone...
it is then the the floodgates were broken and everything was set loose....
somehow, part of me wish that i remain in denial... so that I will not have to face the pain...
then again, only time will tell and it shall be the ultimate determinant of whether i'll finally come face to face with my demons.. which i'll have to anyway...
there are just some things which one cannot run away from....
val's death...
part of me wishes to remain in denial...
i will never look at life the same again....
when she called again to said that she's had a stroke... I didn't wish to hear....
but when she called to tell me that grandma couldn't recognize anyone...
it is then the the floodgates were broken and everything was set loose....
somehow, part of me wish that i remain in denial... so that I will not have to face the pain...
then again, only time will tell and it shall be the ultimate determinant of whether i'll finally come face to face with my demons.. which i'll have to anyway...
there are just some things which one cannot run away from....
val's death...
part of me wishes to remain in denial...
i will never look at life the same again....
coffee at BSC
I guess, I'll never look at coffee breaks the same again...
why you did what you did, perhaps, just perhaps, I can understand... yet, no matter what reason it is, it's still not justifiable by the measure that you took... one that is for eternity...
I'm sorry I was asleep when you tried to reach out... or was it to say goodbye, I don't know... I can only speculate... but then... it must be hurting pretty badly for you my dear... and I shed tears for your pain....
these emotions flooding me, I can't hold back as tears stream down my face like two steady streams.... grief, they call it...
hope you're at a place where it's no more tears for you, only laughter and this time around, pure laughter that is not to mask your pain....
val, you'll be forever missed....
why you did what you did, perhaps, just perhaps, I can understand... yet, no matter what reason it is, it's still not justifiable by the measure that you took... one that is for eternity...
I'm sorry I was asleep when you tried to reach out... or was it to say goodbye, I don't know... I can only speculate... but then... it must be hurting pretty badly for you my dear... and I shed tears for your pain....
these emotions flooding me, I can't hold back as tears stream down my face like two steady streams.... grief, they call it...
hope you're at a place where it's no more tears for you, only laughter and this time around, pure laughter that is not to mask your pain....
val, you'll be forever missed....
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Goodbye and May you find the peace you deserve...
In loving Memory of Valerie Tay (1981-2007)
May she rest in peace now, free from all pain.....
May she rest in peace now, free from all pain.....
Monday, May 07, 2007
so.. waht is it that you're saying?
that I am selfish? that all i do is take up people's time? I'm sorry if I am like that...
oh how I hate myself... just wanna find a dark spot, crawl in there and hide away for eternity!!!
and now you're gonna say that I am self centered and wallowing in the deepest depths of self pity...
i hate you, i hate life, i hate everything that surrounds it, that's in it....
I'm not going to go "woe" is me" or anything like that.. jsut that, just that I wonder if it'll be better if I am not around, if things will become better if I just don't exist anymore?
perhaps, jsut perhaps....
things might be a lot different....
perhaps, just perhaps...
I should go....
oh how I hate myself... just wanna find a dark spot, crawl in there and hide away for eternity!!!
and now you're gonna say that I am self centered and wallowing in the deepest depths of self pity...
i hate you, i hate life, i hate everything that surrounds it, that's in it....
I'm not going to go "woe" is me" or anything like that.. jsut that, just that I wonder if it'll be better if I am not around, if things will become better if I just don't exist anymore?
perhaps, jsut perhaps....
things might be a lot different....
perhaps, just perhaps...
I should go....