coffee at BSC

I guess, I'll never look at coffee breaks the same again...

why you did what you did, perhaps, just perhaps, I can understand... yet, no matter what reason it is, it's still not justifiable by the measure that you took... one that is for eternity...

I'm sorry I was asleep when you tried to reach out... or was it to say goodbye, I don't know... I can only speculate... but then... it must be hurting pretty badly for you my dear... and I shed tears for your pain....

these emotions flooding me, I can't hold back as tears stream down my face like two steady streams.... grief, they call it...

hope you're at a place where it's no more tears for you, only laughter and this time around, pure laughter that is not to mask your pain....

val, you'll be forever missed....

Goodbye and May you find the peace you deserve...

In loving Memory of Valerie Tay (1981-2007)

May she rest in peace now, free from all pain.....

so.. waht is it that you're saying?

that I am selfish? that all i do is take up people's time? I'm sorry if I am like that...
oh how I hate myself... just wanna find a dark spot, crawl in there and hide away for eternity!!!
and now you're gonna say that I am self centered and wallowing in the deepest depths of self pity...

i hate you, i hate life, i hate everything that surrounds it, that's in it....
I'm not going to go "woe" is me" or anything like that.. jsut that, just that I wonder if it'll be better if I am not around, if things will become better if I just don't exist anymore?

perhaps, jsut perhaps....
things might be a lot different....
perhaps, just perhaps...

I should go....

seems just like yesterday

when you left us...
not even a chance to say goodbye to you,
you look leave ever so silently, unexpectably

i miss you...
it's been 10 years now...

i feel happy....

and I'll enjoy this wonderful feeling as much as i can....

I thought he'll stop seeing me, stop treating me... felt that I was going to be abandoned for being too friendly... didn't even see it coming.... but then, in the end, it was only a reality check for him... nothing to do with me.... all for caring me more than as a patient, rather as a relative, a niece perhaps....

it's a nice feeling, yet it carries along it a subtle sense of sadness... nice to know I am cared for... but it's sad to also know that this "caring" would one day end.... and I would just have to accept it as reality in life and just relish in the fact that I was once cared for by a very very kind angel sent from above....

we went through the many possible "diagnoses" that have came my way... for the first time, it was plain talk, straight, direct and simple....

and i pulled through, survived it and came out smiling....